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Thursday December 14th 2017

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The Making of a Forever Family: Jamie Allen and Alice Carver-Kubik

Alice Carver-Kubik and Jamie Allen

By Rowan Collins

Jamie Allen and Alice Carver-Kubik, Associate Curator of the Eastman Museum’s Department of Photography and Research Scientist at the ?Image Permanence Institute at RIT, respectively, spend their free time as co-curators of Gallery Q, Alliance volunteers, and ImageOut committee and board members. The couple has been readying themselves for adoption for years and shared their experiences with us.

“Adoption is something that we have thought about for years. We know that adopting a child is something we would like to do together,” said Carver-Kubik. “We know that we can provide a loving supportive home filled with adventure and joy. We also have amazing friends and family, who are also prepared to love our future children,” Allen added.

To begin, Allen and Carver-Kubik attended multiple local sessions to find out about the process, learning what it would take to adopt while also confronting the restrictions placed on same-gender potential adoptive parents. “We learned that, as a married queer couple, we could only adopt domestically; this felt limiting, but we know that there are children in our own country that need a home.”

After years of preparing their home, they attended a Pride and Joy Families conference in Binghamton where they were able to see diverse families “that looked like the family we were working towards building,” as well as meet agencies. “We felt it was important to find one that supported our unique family,” Carver-Kubik noted.

With thorough research of available agencies, they settled on one that emphasized community building, continued support for birth families, and was committed to LGBTQ families. As part of the process, they continue to take classes and are home study approved. For now, however, it is a waiting game. “We have been waiting for about a year to be connected with a birth family.”

Based on agency trends for queer couples, it could take up to three years for Allen and Carver-Kubik to be matched.

Not ones to sit back and wait, however, the couple are expanding their opportunities to care by working to become foster parents as well.

While the adoption process is long and intensive, they say that having each other has made the endeavor possible. “Alice is the one who does all the work… no, really. Alice is amazing! We would not be on track without all of […the] tasks she has accomplished,” Allen insisted. Carver-Kubik added, “Jamie is the paperwork gatherer and checklist ticker. She made sure that everything that was needed along the way was gathered neatly in a pile to deliver to the agency. Jamie is amazing, too! Together, we are able to support each other through the ups and downs of the process.”

While there have been countless steps and stumbling blocks for the couple, they are confident that their family will grow. “It is easy to be discouraged, and often difficult for others who aren’t familiar with the process to understand why it’s taking so long. The right children are out there for us. If you know someone who is looking for a home for their future child, send them to our Facebook page to learn more about us!”

The couple can be found at “Alice Jamie Adopt” on Facebook.