by KaeLyn Rich
You can pack up your winter coats and store your snow tires in the garage. Flowers are in bloom. Wild animals are coming out of hibernation. And, oh yeah, love is in the air.

It may be mating season, but May is also National Masturbation Month. Yup, there’s a whole month dedicated to getting down with yourself! Like we need an excuse…

Why is masturbation one of my favorite sexual health topics? I’m glad you asked. Masturbation is the safest way to have sex. And masturbation is an excellent way to learn about your own body. I love that it’s all about the individual — there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Plus, it’s natural and healthy! Are you with me?! Then give yourself a hand! Pun intended.

Unfortunately, many people — especially women — were taught that masturbation is dirty and bad. Or worse, have been taught to believe in a “masturbation myth.” Let’s bust those myths right now, so we can get on with celebrating National Masturbation Month!

Myth #1: Masturbation is unhealthy.
At some point, you probably heard that masturbation makes you blind, makes you infertile, or damages your sex organs. These things aren’t true. But it can be hard to shake the feeling that masturbation is bad for you. Truth is, masturbation is not physically harmful in any way. In fact, it has a number of physical and mental health benefits — here are just a few:

Masturbation releases stress and physical tension. Many people masturbate to relax, and it can help some people fall asleep.

Orgasms — whether they’re from masturbation or sex play with a partner — can act as a natural painkiller. One study from 2001 found that orgasm can ease migraines faster than medication. Some women masturbate to relieve menstrual cramps. Research has also shown that orgasms may even prevent endometriosis, a disease of the uterine lining.

Masturbation is the most effective kind of safer sex. Solo masturbation puts you at no risk for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Even mutual masturbation with a partner is close to no-risk if everyone keeps their hands to themselves and doesn’t share sex toys.

Myth #2: Only people who can’t “get any” masturbate.
I am deeply offended for all you sexy singles out there; I’ve heard this one a lot. Most everyone masturbates, whether single or partnered, hetero or queer, regardless of gender. It’s normal to masturbate and has nothing to do with being lonely, having poor self-esteem, or being unattractive.

There’s also the myth that if you are in a committed relationship, you shouldn’t need to masturbate. Or, that it is somehow akin to cheating on your partner if you do masturbate while in a relationship. Some people are concerned when they find out their partners masturbate — they wonder, “Why would someone masturbate when they could just have sex? Does this mean that my partner isn’t attracted to me?”

Here’s the real deal — people who have regular sex partners actually masturbate more often than those who don’t. Yup, it’s true. People masturbate when their partners are unavailable, or use masturbation as foreplay, or simply enjoy the act of masturbating. There’s nothing wrong with it. It can actually improve partner sex, because if you are an expert on what turns you on or off, you can communicate that better to a sexual partner.

Myth #3: Women don’t (or aren’t supposed to) masturbate.
Some people think that it’s normal for men to masturbate, but that women shouldn’t. Reality is, our society is more comfortable with men expressing their sexuality than with women, so many girls are taught not to masturbate — or not to admit to doing it — from a very young age. But quite frankly, girls and women do masturbate, and there’s no reason they shouldn’t. In fact, one study showed that women who masturbate may have better self-esteem than those that don’t.

Myth #4: It’s bad to masturbate every day.
Some people masturbate every day — or even more than once a day. That’s fine. So is there such a thing as “too much” masturbation? According to counselors, it’s only when masturbation gets in the way of daily activities — like going to school or work, or meeting friends — that it would be considered “too much.” And not many people have that problem. Also, some people worry that masturbating frequently will affect fertility. It doesn’t.

How often one masturbates is different from person to person. You may masturbate daily, weekly, once a month, once a year, or even less. It’s also normal to not masturbate. Some people do not find it sexually arousing. Others don’t masturbate because they feel guilty about it, not because they don’t find it pleasurable. It can take time and patience to get over guilt or fear about masturbating. Most people find it to be a positive sexual experience once they let go and try it. If guilt about masturbation is something you or a friend are dealing with, you should run out and find a copy of Betty Dodson’s Sex for One. Some call Dodson’s book the “masturbation bible.”

If you are trying masturbation for the first time, or feel like you want some pointers, here are some quick tips. Masturbation is different for everyone, so it’s up to you to figure out what you like. For women and persons with female anatomy, masturbation can include touching all parts of the vulva, including the clitoris, labia, vaginal opening and the anus. It can also include touching other sensitive parts of the body, such as the breasts, thighs, or wherever it feels good to be touched.

Sex toys can be used during masturbation. A vibrator used on the clitoris is a popular way to masturbate. Dildos and other toys can be used, as well. Be sure to keep sex toys clean and use them safely. Read the instructions! Lube increases pleasure for some people and can prevent irritation. Many people use sexual fantasy when they masturbate, which can include fantasizing with one’s own thoughts, reading erotic literature, or looking at erotic images on film or in print. All these things are normal and healthy.

If you want more info on masturbating, consult one of these great books: Felice Newman’s, The Whole Lesbian Sex Book, or Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller’s, I Love Female Orgasm. You can get comprehensive masturbation info online at www.plannedparenthood.org.

Masturbation is a safe and healthy way to relieve sexual tension, explore our sexuality, and discover what feels good. So give yourself a hand—or two—in celebration of National Masturbation Month! Look for more healthy sexuality info in the Vagina Dialogues next month!

KaeLyn Rich is the Community Affairs Coordinator at Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region. When she isn’t working with campus groups, visiting legislators, or advocating for reproductive justice; she enjoys making tasty vegan meals, spending time with her pet rabbit and partner, and writing poetry.

We want to hear from you! If you have suggestions for a future Vagina Dialogues topic, contact KaeLyn at krich@pprsr.org. For more information on the issues discussed in this article, visit www.pprsr.org, call our toll free helpline at 1-866-600-6886, or email sextalk@pprsr.org. And check out our new blog, Sex. Justice. Change., at www.sexualjustice.blogspot.com!